To Assume...
Makes an a** out of u and me
Season: Spring
Element: Wood
Moon: Full
Sense: Sight (Eyes)
External Work: Office / Workout Areas
Internal Work: Anger (Imbalance) & Patience (Balance)
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I will also be hosting a Substack Live on Thursday, April 2, 2026, from 1:00pm - 1:30pm EST for a Qi Gong Practice. The 30 minute practice will consist of a relaxing yet energizing set of movements you can use when travelling in honor of Spring Break. I will also be putting the video up for FREE that evening for those of you who are not able to make it in the afternoon. The video will go into the paid feed the following day, so don’t miss out by becoming a paid subscriber:
Finally, I will be hosting a feng shui workshop at The Leslie Studio, 4290 Cascade Rd. SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49546, on Saturday, April 11, 2026 from 10am - 11:30am. The workshop will feature the bagua and tips and tricks on how to apply it to aspects of your life. Reserve a spot by contacting The Leslie Studio via phone at 616-942-9322 or their website.
Wednesday is the Full Pink Moon in the feng shui element of wood and the season of spring here in the Northern Hemisphere. The Full Pink Moon is often associated with renewal and growth, which aligns with attributes of the wood element. This moon is also the first full moon after the spring equinox therefore making it the paschal moon which determines the date for Easter. The date of Easter is the first Sunday after this specific full moon. Many assume that the name of this moon is because of the its color, but it is actually named after the creeping phlox wildflowers that bloom during this time of year.
Speaking of assuming, the universe gave me quite a lesson late last week about assumptions. On Wednesday, I had my mother over for tea to catch up. We actually hadn’t seen each other since mid January due to busy schedules, travel, overwhelm from world events, and taking some space after some complex conversations. The catch up was good, but there were some varying viewpoints and some perspectives that needed reflection. On Thursday, I texted her that I was glad we got to catch up and was curious about the topic of getting older that I hoped we could discuss more about at our next lunch. My mom didn’t text back, which she has never done. At first I thought nothing of it, but by early Friday morning I began to spiral. I started to assume that the catch up actually had upset my mom, that I had shared too much of what I was thinking, that I had overwhelmed her. I texted my mother all these thoughts early Friday morning and asked her to let me know what I did wrong in hopes that I could try to do things differently. After that message, I also shared Pulling The Thread’s episode Are You Mad at Me? for her to listen to. Again, my mom didn’t text back and, you all, my assumptions went wild!
Was she dead? Was she furious with me? Was she never going to speak to me again? Was she going to disown me? My assumptions spiraled out of control and no matter what I tried (going for a walk, shaking, breathing), nothing worked to balance my emotional deregulation. I did have my husband text her to make sure she was alive and when she texted him back (thank goodness!) my assumption that my mother was so mad at me that she couldn’t text me back seemed confirmed. I continued to spiral all through Friday and into Saturday morning until I finally listened to my husband and called her. When I heard her cheerful voice on the other end of the line, I knew that my assumptions were so terribly wrong. My mom said she had been so busy with house renovations that she hadn’t had time to finish the podcast I sent, but was going to finish listening to it today. With tears streaming down my face in relief, I asked if everything was ok and expressed how I assumed something was wrong since she hadn’t written back to my texts. “No, everything is fine. Just chaotic.” she said. With that, all the spiraling negative energy dissipated and I was left with that strange, but oh so familiar, mixture of silliness and regret. My assumptions now seemed so very silly and I deeply regretted spiraling in that negative energy for a day and a half. Why didn’t I just call sooner?
My mom called me today and said she hadn’t even seen the second text I sent — the one about upsetting and overwhelming her. She only saw the podcast share, which makes so much more sense since my mom was waiting to text back after she had listened to the episode. She apologized for not replying to the second text, stating that if she had seen it she would have written back immediately. I am so grateful for the apology — my mom saw me and understood what I was going through — but I am also so grateful to the universe for this lesson. It showed me where I have a tender spot to strengthen, a weak point to fortify. I assume the worst and can spiral very quickly into the most negative of scenarios before I have all the facts and can see the situation clearly. I think a lot of us are this way due to an evolved survival mechanism. Assuming the negative, often known as negativity bias, is when the brain prioritizes, remembers, and reacts more strongly to negative information or potential threats than positive ones. The human brain is wired to pay more attention to negative stimuli because negative experiences have a greater impact than positive ones, so this easily leads to us spiraling further and further into the negative.
As my grandfather always said, “to assume makes an ass out of u and me.” Assumptions are neutral, meaning they can be good or bad. When good, assumptions allow us to navigate daily life quickly without analyzing every detail. When bad, they lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings, poor decisions, and negativity spirals. After the text experience with my mom, I am learning to rewire my brain to stop my assumptions going to the negative by focusing on the following:
Tune In - recognizing when I am in a negative state.
Curiosity - be curious about the situation and challenge the negative story.
Creativity - create a new vision or focus on potential positive outcomes.
Courage - take small, positive action (i.e. call or talk in person if I am spiraling).
In this age of smart phones and texting, we have moved so quickly into different forms of communication that I don’t believe the etiquette has caught up to yet. We live in a time where instant communication from any where around the world is cheap and easy. This leads to expectations that responses should be immediate and assumptions that messages will be crystal clear. But there are times that we won’t get a response or the tone of a message will be read incorrectly, so open communication is crucial especially if there is an intuitive hit that something is off. I am working to stop myself before going into a negativity spiral — to ask for clarification before my assumptions make an ass out of me. Because until the etiquette is defined, we need to express our expectations and stop our assumptions to create a world of better communicators rather than a world of asses.
Rest Reading
Check out all of the rest reading recommendations in Resources on my Substack page.
Rest Recipe
With the weather getting warmer here (yes, my windows are open today!) it is getting to be the time of spring cleaning. If you are looking for natural cleaners, I wanted to send on the link for my favorite All-Purpose Cleaner Spray. And here also is the recipe for a Glass Cleaner Spray:
2 cups distilled water
2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 tablespoons rubbing alcohol
5 drops essential oil*
Pour all ingredients into a 16 ounce spray bottle.
*Try lemon, tea tree, lavender, eucalyptus, or peppermint.
Rest Ritual
During this season of wood, it is a great time to think about and connect to the energy of your houseplants. I freely admit that I have a black thumb, but for the last few years I’ve been able to keep two aloe plants alive. Recently, I moved these plants onto an adorable IKEA plant stand along with a watering can and I put them into the corner of my dining room which is in my Fame gua. To my very pleasant surprise, they are thriving and every time I look at the corner I am filled with such positive energy.
In feng shui, houseplants work well in the Family, Wealth, and Fame guas since these are associated with wood and fire elements. You can also use plants at the exterior of the front door to greet the qi and protect against negative energy. Plants are also good in kitchens and bathrooms near sinks to help create balance, since these areas can feel stagnant or have energy “draining” away. Office plants boost creativity, motivation, and productivity. I like to recommend money trees, peperomias, or jade plants on office desktops. Always use thriving, healthy plants to attract positive energy, since dead plants can create stagnant energy.
Please pass this Substack onto a friend or family member to broaden this amazing CRC community and to give the gift of rest to those who need it. As Tricia Hersey writes in her aptly named book, Rest is Resistance.
If you would like to hold a Rest Curation in your local community, please email me at abby@cascadefengshui.com for the script and music information. Or email me if you would like to organize a private pop-up Rest Curation for friends, family, or colleagues.
And if you are interested in my feng shui and interior design services, please see my website at www.cascadefengshui.com and contact me at abby@cascadefengshui.com.